Wednesday, January 20, 2010

January 20th - Decided

January20th – Decided

To come back to the US.

While I was in Antwerp, without friends, family, animals or work , I had a lot of time to think and to feel. I missed them terribly and it became very clear to me that without the above, my life is not the life I want. I especially missed my immediate family (that includes the dogs!)

As motherhood progressed, I always thought – or was taught? – that when your children leave high school they are “done” with their parents. Little did I know and even though the relationship changes, it is not over, if ever.

I am not done and nor are they. So to put an ocean between my immediate family and myself is just not the right thing for me. I have not asked the opinion of my family, this is my decision. At the same time I think they are happy about it, taking into consideration remarks and comments I heard when we were together during Christmas.

What compromise is left for me is that I will not live on the same continent as my biological family ( in particular my brothers ) and some very dear old friends. I don’t know that I will ever be able to make a skintight move, it is just what I have created, this bi-continental conflict, maybe one day I will really find out why and can feel it as a blessing!

Meanwhile I like Amsterdam, it is great seeing some people and having enough time to seeing them twice and at length!
This is a beautiful city all around and I will miss it greatly.The canals with ice or with water or snow are magical, the architecture stunning, and geez, the people have become nicer it seems!Certainly their attitude about service has changed and most actually say now "have a nice day". First time I heard it I did a double take! Transportation with trams is a treat, you zip form here to there in no time, no car!!!
The weather has normalized: it is grey a lot, sun comes out now and then and it hoovers around upper 30ties and 40ties.

Tuesday 26 Sarah and I are going to Spain for a week – Madrid, Granada – to meet up with my niece and nephew who live there, watch the blog “Spain”

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