November 24th
“What can you live without”
(Inspired by Oprah Winfrey, whilst on the treadmill)
Most of you know we live in a house of 3200 sq feet
We have walk in closets, pool, too many rooms to occupy, too much of everything
Now I live in a one bedroom apartment, with a suitcase of clothes and I love the smaller space. What I miss is the outside, no balcony or yard.
So I ask myself, what do I miss or more positively, what can I live without?
Europe brings back to me how much we waste in the US and this question has become very important
So much I can do without, it is shocking and somewhat embarrassing, I need very little in the ways of things. ( I did buy some hats and scarfs and leggings! )
Interestingly, I do not want to live without my computer, it keeps me connected to all of you. Every so often I also watch a (black and white!) TV, which I enjoy, but could do without.
Can’t top the BBC and the National Geographic Channel!
I went to a concert in the Rubens House:(Rubens the painter)
An 8 year old and an 18 year old playing Chopin and Beethoven in a building from the 16th century, cobblestones, paintings, garden, the works
I can do without it, but really really do not want to.
It is the season for gratitude, I was in short supply there for a while. I am grateful for this experience, the food, the architecture, the culture, the staying up late and the sleeping in late, for having interesting conversations I could never have “back home” as the American Club for Women in Antwerp call it. I am even grateful for being alone, as hard as that feels at times.
For an American to do this is insane, it is like someone just shot you off to the moon
Happy Thanksgiving!
It does not end Thursday……
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
November 20th - I got robbed
Novemer 20th – I got robbed
My little backpack on my back in the tram. Some shoving and shuffling, I did not feel how they opened the zipper and just lifted my wallet with everything in it.
Here I am, ignorant, non-suspecting Austinite, never thinking about it for a moment
My wallet had cash, credit cards, debit card, driving licsense, id Minister card, pics, train pass, pin codes for phone here and in Holland, it felt like my whole life, which it is not of course.
Initially I was so shocked and felt so violated. I can’t imagine how people feel when they are actually physically attacked, which is what I felt.
Fortunetly I was on my way to the gym and the people there were very nice, took me to the police station (well hey, you never know they toss what they can’t use)
And bought me dinner – I had no money
Now, after all cards are blocked, I still have few resources, thank god for David. It is confronting to realize how dependent we have become on pulling money out of the wall and paying with plastic.
It happened two days ago, still recuperating. It doe not help I am alone here.
When I mentioned it to people, everyone, I mean everyone, has been robbed at least once. And everyone says ithappens all the time. You cannot walk around with shoulder purses, backpacks or leave anything on the florr or chair or anywhere.A friend carries a purse with a lock! Zip and lock!
It gave me pause. What a peculiar way to live (and yes, this apparently is all over Europe), always thinking about what might or could happen, locks on doors, locks on cars, bikes purses, everything
And then the work that goes into getting it all replaced. Have not even begun to deal with driving licsense , automatic payments etc
This is mind boggling as well.
My little backpack on my back in the tram. Some shoving and shuffling, I did not feel how they opened the zipper and just lifted my wallet with everything in it.
Here I am, ignorant, non-suspecting Austinite, never thinking about it for a moment
My wallet had cash, credit cards, debit card, driving licsense, id Minister card, pics, train pass, pin codes for phone here and in Holland, it felt like my whole life, which it is not of course.
Initially I was so shocked and felt so violated. I can’t imagine how people feel when they are actually physically attacked, which is what I felt.
Fortunetly I was on my way to the gym and the people there were very nice, took me to the police station (well hey, you never know they toss what they can’t use)
And bought me dinner – I had no money
Now, after all cards are blocked, I still have few resources, thank god for David. It is confronting to realize how dependent we have become on pulling money out of the wall and paying with plastic.
It happened two days ago, still recuperating. It doe not help I am alone here.
When I mentioned it to people, everyone, I mean everyone, has been robbed at least once. And everyone says ithappens all the time. You cannot walk around with shoulder purses, backpacks or leave anything on the florr or chair or anywhere.A friend carries a purse with a lock! Zip and lock!
It gave me pause. What a peculiar way to live (and yes, this apparently is all over Europe), always thinking about what might or could happen, locks on doors, locks on cars, bikes purses, everything
And then the work that goes into getting it all replaced. Have not even begun to deal with driving licsense , automatic payments etc
This is mind boggling as well.
Musings about Antwerp
November 17th
Musings....
I eat with a knife and fork again, fork in left hand
At the gym, women have no privacy to change or shower, one open space. Even I have become too American to feel comfortable with that. More extreme is the fact that many male bathrooms are in full sight, incredible.
At 5pm it is dark, at 4pm beginning. Actually, many days are dark, people are dark. For those of you who have not been here, Moslem life has completely taken over, when I walk in the street, especially in my neighborhood, I cannot understand anyone. Nor in the shops, in trams, wherever. Lots of women still wear headscarfs, but many seem to be totally integrated in Dutch and Belgium life, or rather, have become part of a changing picture.
I have made friends with a Moslem woman in the Internet store. I pass by and she asks: any problems today? (I had issues with trying to scan something)
Everyone moves, by bike or walks. Maybe that is why it is hard to get supplements? Cannot get vitamin D, why?
Pharmacies are very cheap and sell drugs without prescription. Got an anti-biotic for my eyes, 4 bucks..!!
Last few days beautiful weather, I don’t remember that at all, global warming…….?
Musings....
I eat with a knife and fork again, fork in left hand
At the gym, women have no privacy to change or shower, one open space. Even I have become too American to feel comfortable with that. More extreme is the fact that many male bathrooms are in full sight, incredible.
At 5pm it is dark, at 4pm beginning. Actually, many days are dark, people are dark. For those of you who have not been here, Moslem life has completely taken over, when I walk in the street, especially in my neighborhood, I cannot understand anyone. Nor in the shops, in trams, wherever. Lots of women still wear headscarfs, but many seem to be totally integrated in Dutch and Belgium life, or rather, have become part of a changing picture.
I have made friends with a Moslem woman in the Internet store. I pass by and she asks: any problems today? (I had issues with trying to scan something)
Everyone moves, by bike or walks. Maybe that is why it is hard to get supplements? Cannot get vitamin D, why?
Pharmacies are very cheap and sell drugs without prescription. Got an anti-biotic for my eyes, 4 bucks..!!
Last few days beautiful weather, I don’t remember that at all, global warming…….?
Saturday, November 14, 2009
November 14th- Gone to Market
November 14th
Gone to Market
Alone in Antwerp amidst crowds, constantly and in most places.
It is the hardest part of this trip, being alone, loneliness, dealing with everything new alone
My friend S. came from Holland, it was such a relief to talk to someone I know and the realization how important it is to talk to people we know, and know us and see us for who we are.
In a new place it all stay around introductions and only rarely do things go beyond that quickly
The market is awesome. It did help the weather was beautiful today – again! When does this terrible weather begin? – and also to be amongst beautiful architecture. Many languages, many cultures, lots of Turkish and Maroccans, but my favorite scarf stall was definitely Italian, herbs Spanish, Fish Portugese and many chinees.
Pomegrans the size of a foot ball, 3 huge avocados for 2 euros,cheese you cannot imagine and here and there scattered about stall for wine tasting.
Whatever food you may want, they got it here.
My neighborhood
Mostly Turkish and Maroccan, also Portugese and Spanish. White is the minority, i.e. I am.
I have a renewed admiration for migrants (immigrants) who begin grocery stores, houseware stores, laundry etc and thriving!
They are very nice to me, helpful, even though half the time they don’t understand me or I them. They prefer English over Flemish for some reason I have not worked out.
This used to be a run down area and you can see how house by house it is being rebuild. A brand new library is 5 minutes walk from here, which helps the feel.
And squares. With trees, sculptures, benches and space.Interesting in such a busty city. Three supermarkets within walking distances
Gone to Market
Alone in Antwerp amidst crowds, constantly and in most places.
It is the hardest part of this trip, being alone, loneliness, dealing with everything new alone
My friend S. came from Holland, it was such a relief to talk to someone I know and the realization how important it is to talk to people we know, and know us and see us for who we are.
In a new place it all stay around introductions and only rarely do things go beyond that quickly
The market is awesome. It did help the weather was beautiful today – again! When does this terrible weather begin? – and also to be amongst beautiful architecture. Many languages, many cultures, lots of Turkish and Maroccans, but my favorite scarf stall was definitely Italian, herbs Spanish, Fish Portugese and many chinees.
Pomegrans the size of a foot ball, 3 huge avocados for 2 euros,cheese you cannot imagine and here and there scattered about stall for wine tasting.
Whatever food you may want, they got it here.
My neighborhood
Mostly Turkish and Maroccan, also Portugese and Spanish. White is the minority, i.e. I am.
I have a renewed admiration for migrants (immigrants) who begin grocery stores, houseware stores, laundry etc and thriving!
They are very nice to me, helpful, even though half the time they don’t understand me or I them. They prefer English over Flemish for some reason I have not worked out.
This used to be a run down area and you can see how house by house it is being rebuild. A brand new library is 5 minutes walk from here, which helps the feel.
And squares. With trees, sculptures, benches and space.Interesting in such a busty city. Three supermarkets within walking distances
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
November 10th - 1st Day in Antwerp
November 10th
Ok, it is done. I am on my own in the apartment, my hosts left last night at 10 pm. I have spend tha last few days and last night making this apartment my own. The women living here, must be the all time clutter queens, unbeliveble!
Every nook and cranny holds something, including dirt. But I am feeling good about what it is becoming.
I am sleeping on a waterbed, anyone? It was surprisingly comfortable, I had a lot of deliberations beforehand, but it was fine.
I ma on the 3rd floor with a view of windows and roofs of all shapes and sizes, mostly attractive, some run down
When I learn how to put pics on here I will.
This neighborhood is an odd mix between new and old, it reminds me of some places in NYC (Washington Heights) as they were being gentrified.
I hear many languages in the street, mostly turkish and maroccan, but an amazing presence of portugese.
The stores vary from the "Turkish bakery" (delish) to good old supermarkets, more expensive and all packaged. I will have to learn where what to buy.
I have been sick, flu-like, which has been very challenging. Cough cough cough and feeling all around miserable.
This must have been the hardest two weeks I have had in a long time, being alone and all
Flamish is much more of a different language that I thought, and I cannot understand it a lot of the time when they speak amongst themselves.
Recycling
is an artform here. Paper in one place, white glass dropped off in a container, dark glass in another, plastic in especially designed bags (you get big penalties for doing anything diffenent!), green garbage, etc
Everyone takes it extremely serious, also because it is costly not to....)
Also interesting, that people here do not want to spend money on elctronics, that is, TV, internet. Phones yes. BUtnotTV.I was in a room with 12 people the other night and only 3 people had a TV! And complaining non-stop about the cost. So they pirate from their neighbors!
Water use is paid for, so everybody is very frugal about taking showers, doing the dishes - mostly with cold water - and using heat. I remember how cold the house used to be when I grew up, and always attributed it to lack of central heat. Which was true, but also the resistence in spending money on heat.
Everyone wears sweater inside and sleeps in icy rooms.(icy to me)
Walked tp the Central Station today - I have not been anywhere much yet - which must be the most attractive railway station everq anywhere, what architecture! On the way there you go to the "chinese street" which is exactly what it sounds like, all chinees (one thai)
Tomorrow my dear friend from Holland is coming, which will be delightful. I have not had friend to talk to for two weeks (other than short spurts with my family). It is truly lonely and I did not realize I was going to land on Mars.
And now I did, never been there before, you?
Ok, it is done. I am on my own in the apartment, my hosts left last night at 10 pm. I have spend tha last few days and last night making this apartment my own. The women living here, must be the all time clutter queens, unbeliveble!
Every nook and cranny holds something, including dirt. But I am feeling good about what it is becoming.
I am sleeping on a waterbed, anyone? It was surprisingly comfortable, I had a lot of deliberations beforehand, but it was fine.
I ma on the 3rd floor with a view of windows and roofs of all shapes and sizes, mostly attractive, some run down
When I learn how to put pics on here I will.
This neighborhood is an odd mix between new and old, it reminds me of some places in NYC (Washington Heights) as they were being gentrified.
I hear many languages in the street, mostly turkish and maroccan, but an amazing presence of portugese.
The stores vary from the "Turkish bakery" (delish) to good old supermarkets, more expensive and all packaged. I will have to learn where what to buy.
I have been sick, flu-like, which has been very challenging. Cough cough cough and feeling all around miserable.
This must have been the hardest two weeks I have had in a long time, being alone and all
Flamish is much more of a different language that I thought, and I cannot understand it a lot of the time when they speak amongst themselves.
Recycling
is an artform here. Paper in one place, white glass dropped off in a container, dark glass in another, plastic in especially designed bags (you get big penalties for doing anything diffenent!), green garbage, etc
Everyone takes it extremely serious, also because it is costly not to....)
Also interesting, that people here do not want to spend money on elctronics, that is, TV, internet. Phones yes. BUtnotTV.I was in a room with 12 people the other night and only 3 people had a TV! And complaining non-stop about the cost. So they pirate from their neighbors!
Water use is paid for, so everybody is very frugal about taking showers, doing the dishes - mostly with cold water - and using heat. I remember how cold the house used to be when I grew up, and always attributed it to lack of central heat. Which was true, but also the resistence in spending money on heat.
Everyone wears sweater inside and sleeps in icy rooms.(icy to me)
Walked tp the Central Station today - I have not been anywhere much yet - which must be the most attractive railway station everq anywhere, what architecture! On the way there you go to the "chinese street" which is exactly what it sounds like, all chinees (one thai)
Tomorrow my dear friend from Holland is coming, which will be delightful. I have not had friend to talk to for two weeks (other than short spurts with my family). It is truly lonely and I did not realize I was going to land on Mars.
And now I did, never been there before, you?
Friday, November 6, 2009
November 6th - Anoek ON The Go
October 28 Houston Airport
The first day of my adventure. A deep sadness is traveling with me, lots of questions, ………..thinking of kids, David, dogs, not especially in that order.
David took me to the airport and since he was traveling as well, he took me to the gate, great luxury!
Geez, my big bag was 50.5. pounds! On the way back I will have to lose some.
Sat in the bulkhead, never again, with a wall in front of you, yikes
Why am I doing this? That is constantly on my mind. What kind of crazy is this? Finding myself? Fuck that! But that is what it is, who am I, without being a mom.
Caring for kids, house, husband, dogs, yard, laundry, bills, maintenance, repair etc
Who am I? Where am I? How many women are struggling with this empty nest syndrome, what are they doing? Playing bridge?Traveling?
My life needs to become meaningful in a different way now, the word that comes up is animals animals animals
David is sitting in the terminal in Austin waiting to board, I am in Houston waiting to board, weird .Without him I could not have done this, I just told him that.
Animals are so meaningful animals to us, human beings. Essential to our existence, socially, emotionally, spiritually. As are all living things.
I think in a way , my two dogs saved me. This morning I was resting on the bed (after accidently taking an overdose of vit B12 and breaking out!), they simply settled on either side of me. I let their loving energy enter, and felt better soon.
Many a times I felt totally alone, and bam, they were there, for me, to love and be loved, always, unconditionally, what a lesson to learn!
Soon I board and cross the ocean. My beloved ocean, the primordeal sounds of the ocean, that is where I will live and love, near the ocean
October 31st
Halloween in Holland is virtually not existing. It is odd to think a whole country across the ocean is dressing up and nobody here is looking
I am at the Unitarian retreat which is largely Americans living in Europe and they do Halloween.
A kids party, dress up, pumpkins etc
Food: Burgers are bare – not with the works- dessert is pudding (it has been ages!), ice cream and profiteroles
Everyone is sitting outside in coats , it is in the low 50ties today, in TX we would not even consider it…………the weather is vaguely sunny and the leaves are gorgous!
Walking the streets I am awed by the beauty, the architecture, the cobblestone and how everyone just goes on with their days as if this is not special.
Attended a discussion group today about intercontinental parenting and empty nesting.
Many moved for work, as a couple or family mostly, and many still feel like outsiderseven after 30 years! They stay for work reasons, quality of life, beauty, habit……
I share my story and have no conclusion………..I feel the debt of my good friends in the US, the love for my immediate family and friends here and also feeling like an outsider at the same time.
Time will tell more I hope
November 2nd
After a rainy day yesterday, it is nice once again. Cloudy, but nice, walked around with turtleneck, but no coat.
Today was the first time I had a leisurly walk into the town of Louvain. The beauty never ceases to amaze me. Of course now the color of the leaves add a fairy tale tone to the ages old architecture.
People are everywhere all the time, it reminds me of New York. And always drinking coffee or beer or something in some brasserie, brown café or restaurant.
Love it.
Two things changed from previous visits: people are nice in the stores and don’t walk into you on the streets, on the contrary, they make an attempt to give way .Since I never spend that much time in Belgium, but more in Holland I wonder if it is just different here.
The other thing is the luxury, all around. The stores now are just as richly stocked as anywhere, women and girls are dressed a lot better than in Austin and much more creative as well- which might be called daring.
All women wear boots, the choices and styles are endless and very interesting. Hats, gloves and coats.
Men do not seem to be going along with the fashion.
If there is a recession (and there is!!) you cannot see it here.
Ironically, this morning I went to Ikea with my friend, which is identical to anywhere in the world, including huge parking lots and coffeeshop. It was packed,
Watching the news last night there was not one word about it.
November 2nd
Coffee.
Served on a silver platter- well, stainless steel, cup and saucer, cookie , whipped cream, coaster under it all, while nobody worries much about paying your bill right away. Two feet away two guys are talking French, drinking wine at 2pm. Many people drinking alcohol in the middle of the day, amazing!
Bathroom
Got to go, had to pay 50 E cents to get in. I forgot, you pay to pee here……
The first day of my adventure. A deep sadness is traveling with me, lots of questions, ………..thinking of kids, David, dogs, not especially in that order.
David took me to the airport and since he was traveling as well, he took me to the gate, great luxury!
Geez, my big bag was 50.5. pounds! On the way back I will have to lose some.
Sat in the bulkhead, never again, with a wall in front of you, yikes
Why am I doing this? That is constantly on my mind. What kind of crazy is this? Finding myself? Fuck that! But that is what it is, who am I, without being a mom.
Caring for kids, house, husband, dogs, yard, laundry, bills, maintenance, repair etc
Who am I? Where am I? How many women are struggling with this empty nest syndrome, what are they doing? Playing bridge?Traveling?
My life needs to become meaningful in a different way now, the word that comes up is animals animals animals
David is sitting in the terminal in Austin waiting to board, I am in Houston waiting to board, weird .Without him I could not have done this, I just told him that.
Animals are so meaningful animals to us, human beings. Essential to our existence, socially, emotionally, spiritually. As are all living things.
I think in a way , my two dogs saved me. This morning I was resting on the bed (after accidently taking an overdose of vit B12 and breaking out!), they simply settled on either side of me. I let their loving energy enter, and felt better soon.
Many a times I felt totally alone, and bam, they were there, for me, to love and be loved, always, unconditionally, what a lesson to learn!
Soon I board and cross the ocean. My beloved ocean, the primordeal sounds of the ocean, that is where I will live and love, near the ocean
October 31st
Halloween in Holland is virtually not existing. It is odd to think a whole country across the ocean is dressing up and nobody here is looking
I am at the Unitarian retreat which is largely Americans living in Europe and they do Halloween.
A kids party, dress up, pumpkins etc
Food: Burgers are bare – not with the works- dessert is pudding (it has been ages!), ice cream and profiteroles
Everyone is sitting outside in coats , it is in the low 50ties today, in TX we would not even consider it…………the weather is vaguely sunny and the leaves are gorgous!
Walking the streets I am awed by the beauty, the architecture, the cobblestone and how everyone just goes on with their days as if this is not special.
Attended a discussion group today about intercontinental parenting and empty nesting.
Many moved for work, as a couple or family mostly, and many still feel like outsiderseven after 30 years! They stay for work reasons, quality of life, beauty, habit……
I share my story and have no conclusion………..I feel the debt of my good friends in the US, the love for my immediate family and friends here and also feeling like an outsider at the same time.
Time will tell more I hope
November 2nd
After a rainy day yesterday, it is nice once again. Cloudy, but nice, walked around with turtleneck, but no coat.
Today was the first time I had a leisurly walk into the town of Louvain. The beauty never ceases to amaze me. Of course now the color of the leaves add a fairy tale tone to the ages old architecture.
People are everywhere all the time, it reminds me of New York. And always drinking coffee or beer or something in some brasserie, brown café or restaurant.
Love it.
Two things changed from previous visits: people are nice in the stores and don’t walk into you on the streets, on the contrary, they make an attempt to give way .Since I never spend that much time in Belgium, but more in Holland I wonder if it is just different here.
The other thing is the luxury, all around. The stores now are just as richly stocked as anywhere, women and girls are dressed a lot better than in Austin and much more creative as well- which might be called daring.
All women wear boots, the choices and styles are endless and very interesting. Hats, gloves and coats.
Men do not seem to be going along with the fashion.
If there is a recession (and there is!!) you cannot see it here.
Ironically, this morning I went to Ikea with my friend, which is identical to anywhere in the world, including huge parking lots and coffeeshop. It was packed,
Watching the news last night there was not one word about it.
November 2nd
Coffee.
Served on a silver platter- well, stainless steel, cup and saucer, cookie , whipped cream, coaster under it all, while nobody worries much about paying your bill right away. Two feet away two guys are talking French, drinking wine at 2pm. Many people drinking alcohol in the middle of the day, amazing!
Bathroom
Got to go, had to pay 50 E cents to get in. I forgot, you pay to pee here……
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