September 2nd – The Magic Flute
Yes, indeed, Mozart. On Lincoln Plaza, right opposite the Met, they showed the Metropolitan Opera Performance of this opera on a (HD) huge screen, outdoors in other words. It was truly magical.
The weather at the moment is very hot again, which means the evenings are wonderful. They had set up a bunch of chairs, but many people spilled over onto the ground, sitting, lying, with beach chairs and snacks. It was very quiet and the sky awesome. What an experience.
I am on my fifth book, gotta get a kindle, I can’t keep getting more books. Here,in NYC, I read in the subway, as does everyone else.
I love the subway, ever heard that before? Oh sure, peoples worst character traits come out and what happens above ground does not match up to what happens underground. But niceties too. There are still guys in this world today who get up and give me their seat!
But what I mean is the movement of the subway. If you ever had a Trager treatment, you know what I mean. It shakes gently, rocks your body (except when it stops) and gives your nervous system a gentle work-over. I always feel there is nothing like “being moved”, as in a massage or any other body work.
Today I wore a kobalt blue shirt and without exaggeration, received at least 5 compliments that I looked great…..(was it the blue or me or both?) I am feeling good, so it’s a match!
Still (again) struggling with my sugar intake, I pray I see a way out of that And consequently, my weight. 5 pounds over, gotta get rid of that.
David is coming today,I am grateful and oh so tired of doing everything alone.
We will have 6 days together before we go back to Austin, looking forward to it. Of course we will be spending time with Sarah as well.
Something is up with people I am meeting. Typically I would say, something is up with me, which I think is in fact the case.
I seem to have not much tolerance for any form of disrespectful behavior. The irony of that does not escape me, being here in New York,I guess here in the city it easily comes out and also, it is allowed.
But it goes deeper than that. I have developed a sensitivity for toxic behavior in a way I never knew before.
Well, lots to say about that, for another time.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
August 28th - Meditation, Clarity and Joy
August 28th - Meditation, Clarity and Joy
It is almost a week ago now that Sarah moved into her dorm. I did not realize how worried I was about the whole process (as much for me as for her) but now that all is well – her room looks great, her roommate is sweet, the building a gem – I can relax again.She had her first classes, so far so good.
I actually meditate, I feel clear about the next step and thoroughly enjoy the city once more.
I am very grateful that I am able to do this ( thank you David! ) and also delighted that actually the whole family (I think I may include Maya here) is excited about this move. Both Benjamin and David thanked me for being so bold….
So, 10 days to go. David will come next week,we hope to go find a beach, I will continue my Italian lessons till I leave, as well as my Feldenkreis classes. The latter has been very interesting and more and more am I leaning towards learning about the nervous system and healing in a different way, I believe I am onto something.
It is almost a week ago now that Sarah moved into her dorm. I did not realize how worried I was about the whole process (as much for me as for her) but now that all is well – her room looks great, her roommate is sweet, the building a gem – I can relax again.She had her first classes, so far so good.
I actually meditate, I feel clear about the next step and thoroughly enjoy the city once more.
I am very grateful that I am able to do this ( thank you David! ) and also delighted that actually the whole family (I think I may include Maya here) is excited about this move. Both Benjamin and David thanked me for being so bold….
So, 10 days to go. David will come next week,we hope to go find a beach, I will continue my Italian lessons till I leave, as well as my Feldenkreis classes. The latter has been very interesting and more and more am I leaning towards learning about the nervous system and healing in a different way, I believe I am onto something.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
August 22nd - She is leaving home, bye bye
August 22nd – She is leaving home, bye bye
When I walk the streets of Manhatten, trying to find my way, not knowing many people, realizing once more that if I dropped dead, nobody would know. It reminds me of my time in Paris, right after high school, when I roamed the streets, utterly alone, somewhat scared – I should have been more scared – and lost. And my time in Antwerp last winter, where I literally knew nobody when I got there. Both there and here, I live in a neighborhood of what we politically correct call, “a minority neighborhood”, which means that connecting locally is difficult, largely because I don’t speak Spanish or Arabic.
Anyhow, Sarah is moving into her dorm tomorrow. This week we spend shopping for all the things a young woman needs in a completely empty apartment.
Well, what is “need?”
I have never in my life bought so many diffenet household items in one go. We are shopping together with the rest of the population, what mahem. I knew New York has a ton of colleges, but I never realized what shopping in this time-period would mean; thousand of parents with kids on the go…… She is sharing her space with 3 other girls, this will be a whole new experience, small quarters with 4 girls from different backgrounds, cultures and age.
I am not looking forward to being alone again. I will be here for another two weeks, things still need to be organized and dealt with and I really enjoyed having her here.
I do not enjoy living alone, although I am getting very tired of living in another person’s house.
I am dreading the next few months. Getting the house ready is a huge job (repairing, selling stuff,etc), but more importantly, then what?
I have lived between two worlds and that will still continue for some months to come.
I am sad, worried and displaced.
When I walk the streets of Manhatten, trying to find my way, not knowing many people, realizing once more that if I dropped dead, nobody would know. It reminds me of my time in Paris, right after high school, when I roamed the streets, utterly alone, somewhat scared – I should have been more scared – and lost. And my time in Antwerp last winter, where I literally knew nobody when I got there. Both there and here, I live in a neighborhood of what we politically correct call, “a minority neighborhood”, which means that connecting locally is difficult, largely because I don’t speak Spanish or Arabic.
Anyhow, Sarah is moving into her dorm tomorrow. This week we spend shopping for all the things a young woman needs in a completely empty apartment.
Well, what is “need?”
I have never in my life bought so many diffenet household items in one go. We are shopping together with the rest of the population, what mahem. I knew New York has a ton of colleges, but I never realized what shopping in this time-period would mean; thousand of parents with kids on the go…… She is sharing her space with 3 other girls, this will be a whole new experience, small quarters with 4 girls from different backgrounds, cultures and age.
I am not looking forward to being alone again. I will be here for another two weeks, things still need to be organized and dealt with and I really enjoyed having her here.
I do not enjoy living alone, although I am getting very tired of living in another person’s house.
I am dreading the next few months. Getting the house ready is a huge job (repairing, selling stuff,etc), but more importantly, then what?
I have lived between two worlds and that will still continue for some months to come.
I am sad, worried and displaced.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
August 15th - what about me?
August 15th – What about me?
Ever since my youngest daughter was approaching the upper classes in high school, I began to think about my life without children. I would talk about that in the gym with other mothers, at school gatherings and parties. Most mothers dreaded the upcoming emptiness, as did I.
Not only was I debating my professional life, but also my physical life: where did I want to live if I was not tied in to schools?
Most of you already know that I began to travel to find answers. First the Westcoast, then Denver, four months in Europe and now, New York.
I have found some answers, at least for the time being. New York it is,
I feel I can have a life here, be inspired, stimulated and find friends. Oddly, I do not feel so out of sorts here as I do in Austin, even though and because, many people are out of sorts here.
Courage
Many people tell me how courageous I am for going to New York, all by myself. I think they are right. I see myself stepping about, alone, exploring, with very few resources and many a time I went out of my body and looked at me and said; you are one brave 62 year old!
I feel brave when people challenge me, like cutting me off, push me, jump the line or step on my foot and break my shoe! or call me names for no apparent reason and I keep my cool. At such moments, being alone is hard, with no one to talk to.
I feel brave when yet one more time I have to find my way to some address or other because I am meeting someone and the subway is an altogether different ride than what I am ”used to”.
I feel brave when I walk about in radiant sunshine at an attractive streetfair and see fresh lemonade and crepes being made and funky hats and beautiful handbags being sold.
At such a moment being alone is hard for me as well, no one to talk to.
But the braver part of me has a lot to do with leaving my kids behind, my husband and my dogs. I miss the connection with them painfully and ironically, however hard I try, it is so hard to maintain connection by electronics alone.It is a great source of awareness and sadness at the same time.
Ever since my youngest daughter was approaching the upper classes in high school, I began to think about my life without children. I would talk about that in the gym with other mothers, at school gatherings and parties. Most mothers dreaded the upcoming emptiness, as did I.
Not only was I debating my professional life, but also my physical life: where did I want to live if I was not tied in to schools?
Most of you already know that I began to travel to find answers. First the Westcoast, then Denver, four months in Europe and now, New York.
I have found some answers, at least for the time being. New York it is,
I feel I can have a life here, be inspired, stimulated and find friends. Oddly, I do not feel so out of sorts here as I do in Austin, even though and because, many people are out of sorts here.
Courage
Many people tell me how courageous I am for going to New York, all by myself. I think they are right. I see myself stepping about, alone, exploring, with very few resources and many a time I went out of my body and looked at me and said; you are one brave 62 year old!
I feel brave when people challenge me, like cutting me off, push me, jump the line or step on my foot and break my shoe! or call me names for no apparent reason and I keep my cool. At such moments, being alone is hard, with no one to talk to.
I feel brave when yet one more time I have to find my way to some address or other because I am meeting someone and the subway is an altogether different ride than what I am ”used to”.
I feel brave when I walk about in radiant sunshine at an attractive streetfair and see fresh lemonade and crepes being made and funky hats and beautiful handbags being sold.
At such a moment being alone is hard for me as well, no one to talk to.
But the braver part of me has a lot to do with leaving my kids behind, my husband and my dogs. I miss the connection with them painfully and ironically, however hard I try, it is so hard to maintain connection by electronics alone.It is a great source of awareness and sadness at the same time.
Monday, August 9, 2010
August 10th - Between worlds
August 10 – Between Worlds
We ( I ) decided that the best course of action is for me to go back to Austin, fix up the house – tiles in bathroom, paint etc – pack and put the house on the market.
I was beginning to feel I was jumping the gun and need to complete my life in Austin before I start here.
This is hard, since I was already on a roll, created friendships, went networking for work, looked at places to work at, got to know the city and the real estate issues in different places etc.
So we let go of the apartment we found and I am not looking any longer, until I come back here.
Meanwhile I am eager to start the work on the house in Austin, but Sarah will be here next week and my last project will start then: launching her into her new life as a student here!
David was here for a week ,we had a great time and he is motivated to come here as well.
Benjamin was here last week and totally fell in love with being here. I dare say it was life changing for him, he said he found something of himself here, he had forgotten. Wether or not he will do his masters here is another story, we are hoping that when he graduates in December, he will do something totally different first in another part of the world.
Meanwhile I am still doing Feldenkreis classes and found someone who is teaching me Italian is return for coaching.It is keeping me somewhat busy.
!
So much to say about this city, all of it has been said before and better . One thing is worth mentioning: if you thought that Times Square had a lot of light, you ain’t seen nothing yet! They converted 10 blocks in a no-car zone, made one big outdoor seating area out of it and created a sea of light. Movies are playing, ads (of course), news, feedback shows taped on the square via cameras, it is just mind-boggling. My poor brain must have been working so hard to take it all in ,although we enjoyed it thoroughly. The waste of enrgy is not in discussion here at the moment……
Did I mention we caught an outdoor show at Linclon Center by the Asylum Street Spankers(Austin band)? They are fantastic, professional and very funny,go see and hear them if you can!
Benjamin and I took the Staten Island Ferry up and down, so much water here, delicious.We also had the best bagel ever and some serious chinees food in Chinatown!
An old over-the-city-railroad track has become a 20-block promenade with flowers,bushes,trees, seating and views. There is so much contrast from beautiful to ugly, from poor to rich and friendly to nasty and obnoxious.
Magical….
We ( I ) decided that the best course of action is for me to go back to Austin, fix up the house – tiles in bathroom, paint etc – pack and put the house on the market.
I was beginning to feel I was jumping the gun and need to complete my life in Austin before I start here.
This is hard, since I was already on a roll, created friendships, went networking for work, looked at places to work at, got to know the city and the real estate issues in different places etc.
So we let go of the apartment we found and I am not looking any longer, until I come back here.
Meanwhile I am eager to start the work on the house in Austin, but Sarah will be here next week and my last project will start then: launching her into her new life as a student here!
David was here for a week ,we had a great time and he is motivated to come here as well.
Benjamin was here last week and totally fell in love with being here. I dare say it was life changing for him, he said he found something of himself here, he had forgotten. Wether or not he will do his masters here is another story, we are hoping that when he graduates in December, he will do something totally different first in another part of the world.
Meanwhile I am still doing Feldenkreis classes and found someone who is teaching me Italian is return for coaching.It is keeping me somewhat busy.
!
So much to say about this city, all of it has been said before and better . One thing is worth mentioning: if you thought that Times Square had a lot of light, you ain’t seen nothing yet! They converted 10 blocks in a no-car zone, made one big outdoor seating area out of it and created a sea of light. Movies are playing, ads (of course), news, feedback shows taped on the square via cameras, it is just mind-boggling. My poor brain must have been working so hard to take it all in ,although we enjoyed it thoroughly. The waste of enrgy is not in discussion here at the moment……
Did I mention we caught an outdoor show at Linclon Center by the Asylum Street Spankers(Austin band)? They are fantastic, professional and very funny,go see and hear them if you can!
Benjamin and I took the Staten Island Ferry up and down, so much water here, delicious.We also had the best bagel ever and some serious chinees food in Chinatown!
An old over-the-city-railroad track has become a 20-block promenade with flowers,bushes,trees, seating and views. There is so much contrast from beautiful to ugly, from poor to rich and friendly to nasty and obnoxious.
Magical….
Saturday, July 31, 2010
July 31st - I am in love again
July 31st - I am in love again
Yes, with all my loved ones, but also with New York.
Miraculously, New York has done its work on me and I now feel completely at home as well as excited to be here.
The dirt and noise have become background in some places, even the poverty has taken its rightful a place in my mind, although the behavior in the subway is still offensive to me. Ironically, people seem to be very nice overall, but in public transportation, all evil comes out. From physically obnoxious, to verbal abuse.
David is here now and we both are really enjoying the city. Benjamin arrived tonight and he is already thrilled to be here.
The weather has been great, that helps, but we have also been struck by the beauty and variety of it all. I understand why so many songs were written about this city; people (I) want to capture in words what the sizzle is all about.
We found an apartment we really like, which brought up finances, relationship, the future of our lives, our kids future, etc.
We talked up a storm and will decide in the next few days. If we had sold the house already we would feel different, but that project still needs to be tackled
Which brings me to this: should anyone know of anyone , who might be interested, please send them our way, we are ready to sell!
Yes, with all my loved ones, but also with New York.
Miraculously, New York has done its work on me and I now feel completely at home as well as excited to be here.
The dirt and noise have become background in some places, even the poverty has taken its rightful a place in my mind, although the behavior in the subway is still offensive to me. Ironically, people seem to be very nice overall, but in public transportation, all evil comes out. From physically obnoxious, to verbal abuse.
David is here now and we both are really enjoying the city. Benjamin arrived tonight and he is already thrilled to be here.
The weather has been great, that helps, but we have also been struck by the beauty and variety of it all. I understand why so many songs were written about this city; people (I) want to capture in words what the sizzle is all about.
We found an apartment we really like, which brought up finances, relationship, the future of our lives, our kids future, etc.
We talked up a storm and will decide in the next few days. If we had sold the house already we would feel different, but that project still needs to be tackled
Which brings me to this: should anyone know of anyone , who might be interested, please send them our way, we are ready to sell!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
July 26th - Grand Central
July 26th Grand Central
In awe I enter the grand hall
The central hall, the center
Might this be the heart of the city?
Where all and everybody meet
And do not meet, can see
And see not of each other
Blindly on the way.
And yet, my favorite space
where sounds and rhythms
mix and mingle, clatter of heels
and chatter of people,
like a concert ,composed
until a player burst out
in laughter or anger
and quickly looks around to check
and falls back into measure
and tempo and dynamics
on what we all agreed on
the right one for us all.
Kids and feelings hang around
out of step, legato, allegro, random
as it were, and unaware
in cris cros patterns
I feel stories behind bodies,
everyone is coming from somewhere
and going places, for better or worse
for joy and tragedy
Suddenly I overcome with love
for them, humanity and a profound
kinship with all life
I see the play, the form in which
We can develop a route to go
A job to find, to do
And see so many opportunities
And possibilities to serve
While in the end to serve is to be glad
Fulfilled and in the end
The way to find oneself
In awe I enter the grand hall
The central hall, the center
Might this be the heart of the city?
Where all and everybody meet
And do not meet, can see
And see not of each other
Blindly on the way.
And yet, my favorite space
where sounds and rhythms
mix and mingle, clatter of heels
and chatter of people,
like a concert ,composed
until a player burst out
in laughter or anger
and quickly looks around to check
and falls back into measure
and tempo and dynamics
on what we all agreed on
the right one for us all.
Kids and feelings hang around
out of step, legato, allegro, random
as it were, and unaware
in cris cros patterns
I feel stories behind bodies,
everyone is coming from somewhere
and going places, for better or worse
for joy and tragedy
Suddenly I overcome with love
for them, humanity and a profound
kinship with all life
I see the play, the form in which
We can develop a route to go
A job to find, to do
And see so many opportunities
And possibilities to serve
While in the end to serve is to be glad
Fulfilled and in the end
The way to find oneself
Monday, July 19, 2010
July 19th – Holding the Vision
July 19th – Holding the Vision
It has been difficult to do so, in part because of my own experiences, but largely because of people around me.
Some friends from when I lived here before, have been incessantly discouraging, negative and even intimidating. Numerous brokers tell me I cannot and will not be able to find what I describe as what I am looking for in the ways of living space.
Except for my real friends in Austin, many have declared me insane way back when, it shows in the way they look, or say “really”?
Paul Coelho writes in his precious book “The Alchemist” (recommend!!):
“Every second of the search is an encounter with god. When I have been truly searching for my treasure, everyday has been luminous, because I’ve known that every hour was a part of the dream, that I would find it. When I have been truly searching for my treasure, I’ve discovered things along the way that I never would have seen had I not had the courage the try things that seemed impossible to achieve.”
Well, I could not have said it any better. Feel free to support me in any way that seems right to you, email, telephone or in prayer.
This is not an easy time, but I am certainly glad I am doing it.
So we had another heat wave, which feels hotter than Austin, because you are in it all the time, from subway to subway, by foot to the store, a few more blocks to….etc
Feldenkreis is growing on me. Did I say I go to classes at The F-Institute 4-5 times a week? It is somewhat mysterious initially, but I am beginning to see rhyme and reason into it, but I will keep you informed.
Yesterday I sailed up the Hudson River with the sailboat build and re-created by Pet Seeger: The Clearwater. It is a sail boat that is mostly used to teach people about environmental issues – come aboard - and in particular in how to keep the Hudson River clean. It was a historical experience, bloody hot at that, gorgeous sunset and in company of a bunch of very committed and poor people.
The crew lives on the boat in close (close close) quarters and are a refreshing breed that feels like left over from the 60ties.
Saw an amazing apartment, with all the luxuries you might want,including space and the capacity to bring our furniture, a townhouse really, in New Jersey, which brings up the question on wether to choose space or Manhatten? Westchester or Manhatten?
I am sure this question will stay with me a while……………
It has been difficult to do so, in part because of my own experiences, but largely because of people around me.
Some friends from when I lived here before, have been incessantly discouraging, negative and even intimidating. Numerous brokers tell me I cannot and will not be able to find what I describe as what I am looking for in the ways of living space.
Except for my real friends in Austin, many have declared me insane way back when, it shows in the way they look, or say “really”?
Paul Coelho writes in his precious book “The Alchemist” (recommend!!):
“Every second of the search is an encounter with god. When I have been truly searching for my treasure, everyday has been luminous, because I’ve known that every hour was a part of the dream, that I would find it. When I have been truly searching for my treasure, I’ve discovered things along the way that I never would have seen had I not had the courage the try things that seemed impossible to achieve.”
Well, I could not have said it any better. Feel free to support me in any way that seems right to you, email, telephone or in prayer.
This is not an easy time, but I am certainly glad I am doing it.
So we had another heat wave, which feels hotter than Austin, because you are in it all the time, from subway to subway, by foot to the store, a few more blocks to….etc
Feldenkreis is growing on me. Did I say I go to classes at The F-Institute 4-5 times a week? It is somewhat mysterious initially, but I am beginning to see rhyme and reason into it, but I will keep you informed.
Yesterday I sailed up the Hudson River with the sailboat build and re-created by Pet Seeger: The Clearwater. It is a sail boat that is mostly used to teach people about environmental issues – come aboard - and in particular in how to keep the Hudson River clean. It was a historical experience, bloody hot at that, gorgeous sunset and in company of a bunch of very committed and poor people.
The crew lives on the boat in close (close close) quarters and are a refreshing breed that feels like left over from the 60ties.
Saw an amazing apartment, with all the luxuries you might want,including space and the capacity to bring our furniture, a townhouse really, in New Jersey, which brings up the question on wether to choose space or Manhatten? Westchester or Manhatten?
I am sure this question will stay with me a while……………
Monday, July 12, 2010
July 12th Call to Prayer
July 12th Call to prayer
As I am walking on 3rd ave and 93rd street, I suddenly hear this amazing whale of a sound coming out of loudspeakers of a mosque, so loud that it echoes several blocks all around. This is New York? oops, for a moment I thought I was in say, Istanbul or some other Islam city. I was mesmorized by it, I really wanted to go in, but I was wearing my shorts and spaghetti straps, they would not have allowed it.
After the terrible heat wave (103 for several days on end), the weather is great. Warm in the day, delicious at night and all around very pleasant, except of coursed in the subway, where it always seems to feel like an oven.
Speaking of subway, I am amazed at so much talent just singing and dancing in the trains. Just yesterday a group treated us to “The Golden Gate Quartet”, gospel/blues
So how am I? Battered all around, emotionally, physically, mentally.
People are totally into themselves, not unusual in this day and age, but coming to a new city, this is very confronting. At the same time I suspect that is why so much is achieved here in the ways of art, culture and even humanly.
That attitude shows in the fact that the people I used to know, are not in the least bit interested how I am doing, and the people I am meeting, ditto.
In the subway the do not make space for you unless you demand it and often times a bag is shoved against you, or a leg
Once again I am in a place, that if something were to happen to me, nobody would know.
And things did happen. I made a huge fall in a crack in the sidewalk, I had injuries of some sort in 6 different places and limped for days. Ten days later I still have skin scrapes to show for it.
I bump into everything and seem to have to re-negotiate myself in (small)space. I cut myself, my nails break and get lost.
Of course I wonder why did I put this madness upon myself? What was that about Austin?
I am alone and lonely, especially since I come from a home with two kids and a husband ( I so miss the doggies!) and even though we did not spend a whole lot of time together, there still is a buzz in the house, a coming and going. I thought I would be more relieved…
Ironically, several people came out of the woodwork and asked me about the work I do. I have a strong impression I can successfully work here. Already found a few places I can work at for a low rate per hour.
I get around the city like a fish in the water. Everything is familiar, it seems busier though, kinder at the same time and just as exciting.
The house hunt is excruciating. No such thing as multiple listing, which means for every corner, area, neighborhood of the city, you need another broker. Which means you need to find them, begin a relationship, ask them to help you find something and see apartments. While you have learned something, they disappear and you cannot pursue more.
We want to rent, there is not a lot of money in that for them, so if they know you don’t rent that very day – yes, that very day- they are not interested any longer.
In a general sense I figured out I want to live in the quieter neighborhoods with trees and birds and at the moment I am very interested in Brooklyn.
Honestly though, I don’t know and I am trying to be ok with not knowing at all.
What do I know? I want to sell the big house in Austin. I do not want to retire and die in Austin, TX, I like New York in many ways but not ALL ways and miss my family.
As I am walking on 3rd ave and 93rd street, I suddenly hear this amazing whale of a sound coming out of loudspeakers of a mosque, so loud that it echoes several blocks all around. This is New York? oops, for a moment I thought I was in say, Istanbul or some other Islam city. I was mesmorized by it, I really wanted to go in, but I was wearing my shorts and spaghetti straps, they would not have allowed it.
After the terrible heat wave (103 for several days on end), the weather is great. Warm in the day, delicious at night and all around very pleasant, except of coursed in the subway, where it always seems to feel like an oven.
Speaking of subway, I am amazed at so much talent just singing and dancing in the trains. Just yesterday a group treated us to “The Golden Gate Quartet”, gospel/blues
So how am I? Battered all around, emotionally, physically, mentally.
People are totally into themselves, not unusual in this day and age, but coming to a new city, this is very confronting. At the same time I suspect that is why so much is achieved here in the ways of art, culture and even humanly.
That attitude shows in the fact that the people I used to know, are not in the least bit interested how I am doing, and the people I am meeting, ditto.
In the subway the do not make space for you unless you demand it and often times a bag is shoved against you, or a leg
Once again I am in a place, that if something were to happen to me, nobody would know.
And things did happen. I made a huge fall in a crack in the sidewalk, I had injuries of some sort in 6 different places and limped for days. Ten days later I still have skin scrapes to show for it.
I bump into everything and seem to have to re-negotiate myself in (small)space. I cut myself, my nails break and get lost.
Of course I wonder why did I put this madness upon myself? What was that about Austin?
I am alone and lonely, especially since I come from a home with two kids and a husband ( I so miss the doggies!) and even though we did not spend a whole lot of time together, there still is a buzz in the house, a coming and going. I thought I would be more relieved…
Ironically, several people came out of the woodwork and asked me about the work I do. I have a strong impression I can successfully work here. Already found a few places I can work at for a low rate per hour.
I get around the city like a fish in the water. Everything is familiar, it seems busier though, kinder at the same time and just as exciting.
The house hunt is excruciating. No such thing as multiple listing, which means for every corner, area, neighborhood of the city, you need another broker. Which means you need to find them, begin a relationship, ask them to help you find something and see apartments. While you have learned something, they disappear and you cannot pursue more.
We want to rent, there is not a lot of money in that for them, so if they know you don’t rent that very day – yes, that very day- they are not interested any longer.
In a general sense I figured out I want to live in the quieter neighborhoods with trees and birds and at the moment I am very interested in Brooklyn.
Honestly though, I don’t know and I am trying to be ok with not knowing at all.
What do I know? I want to sell the big house in Austin. I do not want to retire and die in Austin, TX, I like New York in many ways but not ALL ways and miss my family.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
July 7th Heat in all ways
July 6th Heat
The circus around the 4th of July is done, I am glad. The masses were too many, the weather is all around too hot for anything and the fireworks, well, real pretty, but a half hour long and all I could think about, is how many people could have been fed from all that money that went into it. Ten minutes would have been pretty too.Not to mention the rest of the country…….
The weather was 103 today, practically unbearable and it will be till Saturday. In the city you cannot go from AC car to AC building, unlike Austin,you have to walk in it, to get anywhere at all, wait on platforms that are hot hot hot , when the train comes some relieve arrives, but no AC can handle this heat properly
My apartment is reasonable – I hear some people lost power!! – but even with working AC, it is reasonable, not great.
The barrage of the Senses:
It is remarkable, I never really thought about it that much.
Touch: Everybody touches everybody, especially in the subway. There is no carefulness about that, no mindfulness, it just does not matter. Having lived in Texas where nobody touches anybody under any circumstances, I have become sensitized to all this touch. Men sit in the subway legs spread apart, and wether there is a seat or not, no room is made . Big people have no problem using up two seats and all the while anyone just leans into you or at best, touches your legs, arms, hip, whatever.
Smell: there is always garbage on one street corner or another, some street or another is due for pick up.
Sound: too much, too loud. When I come home I need to use an escalator to get to street level and it sqeaks and grinds.
Then again, I get treated to one performance or another South American, classic guitar, break dancing (yes, they still do that here) and so on.
Visual: as much ugliness as beauty. Buildings are amazing when you bother to look up, avenues spectacular, fountains, statues, combinations of high rises that are beautiful in variety of color, size material and shape.
I feel very safe in New York now, more so than when I lived here 20 years ago. By and large, people are friendly when asked a question, but no unnecessary smiling while walking about!!
The circus around the 4th of July is done, I am glad. The masses were too many, the weather is all around too hot for anything and the fireworks, well, real pretty, but a half hour long and all I could think about, is how many people could have been fed from all that money that went into it. Ten minutes would have been pretty too.Not to mention the rest of the country…….
The weather was 103 today, practically unbearable and it will be till Saturday. In the city you cannot go from AC car to AC building, unlike Austin,you have to walk in it, to get anywhere at all, wait on platforms that are hot hot hot , when the train comes some relieve arrives, but no AC can handle this heat properly
My apartment is reasonable – I hear some people lost power!! – but even with working AC, it is reasonable, not great.
The barrage of the Senses:
It is remarkable, I never really thought about it that much.
Touch: Everybody touches everybody, especially in the subway. There is no carefulness about that, no mindfulness, it just does not matter. Having lived in Texas where nobody touches anybody under any circumstances, I have become sensitized to all this touch. Men sit in the subway legs spread apart, and wether there is a seat or not, no room is made . Big people have no problem using up two seats and all the while anyone just leans into you or at best, touches your legs, arms, hip, whatever.
Smell: there is always garbage on one street corner or another, some street or another is due for pick up.
Sound: too much, too loud. When I come home I need to use an escalator to get to street level and it sqeaks and grinds.
Then again, I get treated to one performance or another South American, classic guitar, break dancing (yes, they still do that here) and so on.
Visual: as much ugliness as beauty. Buildings are amazing when you bother to look up, avenues spectacular, fountains, statues, combinations of high rises that are beautiful in variety of color, size material and shape.
I feel very safe in New York now, more so than when I lived here 20 years ago. By and large, people are friendly when asked a question, but no unnecessary smiling while walking about!!
Saturday, July 3, 2010
July 3rd 2010 New York
It has take me this much time to feel I could sit down and write, so much has happened, where to begin?
The weather is delicious at the moment, after the first week of oppressive humidity, it is now in the high 70ties and sunny and windy. More heat to come I hear….
I conveniently forgot how stressful it is to get settled into a new apartment. It is like giving birth…Initially no internet, TV with complicated settings, no radio – my NPR addiction got a big dent – and how dependent are we (am I) on electronics. I also got a brand new phone and did not know how to work the half of it.
I packed the wrong clothes, I thought it was cooler at night, so half of what I brought is useless (and paid overweight- fees taboot!) and also had to find some sleeveless shirts and shorts quickly. Then I needed crazy glue (my purse broke) light bulb, supplements, band-aids (first day I treated myself to a deep cut in my hand), washing soap etc etc. It just goes on and on, settling into a new place without all your own little thingies at your fingertips.
The apartment is very nice, a 2 bedroom (come and stay with me!!), fairly spacious and fairly light, albeit, no view whatsoever.Walls on all sides. Good shower!!
The neighborhood is very ethnic (again!!) and once again I am a minority (Antwerp), but this time not among Moslim, but Hispanic ethnicity , mostly Dominican and Mexico. I feel safe, but somewhat alienated, everybody speaks Spanish exclusively. The express train is on the corner, so in 20 minutes I am in downtown. It is seemingly, the only affordable neighborhood in Manhatten and is consequently gentrifying rapidly.
I have already seen many apartments for sale and rent and the prices are depressing, i.e. astronomical. I don’t know yet if I/we think we can live here. The most extreme is the constant attack on your senses: smells, visual, sounds and even touch, especially in the subway. But apartments are often build facing away from the streets, so this one and others, are 100% quiet, as if I wassomewhere else.
At the same time all the activity is delightful and interesting.
New York is all of what it is made out to be: exciting, ugly and beautiful, inspiring and confronting.
I saw Helen Mirren in a preview for her new film and going to Shakespeare in the park next week with Al Pacino in the Merchant of Venice.
60 Pianos are put all over Manhatten and anyone can play them. I caught some opera students from Julliard at Lincoln Center.
The first week I was here I got invited to a party and met the producer of “Lost”, the TV show, who is now organizing a party on my behalf, as in “welcome to New York “(any excuse will do)
4th of July is insane here. Nobody works for days, everyone has parties in-and outside, buzz buzz, wondering if anyone actually celebrates the birthday of this country…? At night there is the huge fireworks on the Hudson river to top it all of.
I fell in a crack in the sidewalk, which I find out everybody does once in a while. I really hurt myself in many places and I am forced to walk less and not try and sort it all out in one week or two.
Clients, or potential clients, are coming out of the woodwork. I found an office for a low fee, so that is very encouraging.
The weather is delicious at the moment, after the first week of oppressive humidity, it is now in the high 70ties and sunny and windy. More heat to come I hear….
I conveniently forgot how stressful it is to get settled into a new apartment. It is like giving birth…Initially no internet, TV with complicated settings, no radio – my NPR addiction got a big dent – and how dependent are we (am I) on electronics. I also got a brand new phone and did not know how to work the half of it.
I packed the wrong clothes, I thought it was cooler at night, so half of what I brought is useless (and paid overweight- fees taboot!) and also had to find some sleeveless shirts and shorts quickly. Then I needed crazy glue (my purse broke) light bulb, supplements, band-aids (first day I treated myself to a deep cut in my hand), washing soap etc etc. It just goes on and on, settling into a new place without all your own little thingies at your fingertips.
The apartment is very nice, a 2 bedroom (come and stay with me!!), fairly spacious and fairly light, albeit, no view whatsoever.Walls on all sides. Good shower!!
The neighborhood is very ethnic (again!!) and once again I am a minority (Antwerp), but this time not among Moslim, but Hispanic ethnicity , mostly Dominican and Mexico. I feel safe, but somewhat alienated, everybody speaks Spanish exclusively. The express train is on the corner, so in 20 minutes I am in downtown. It is seemingly, the only affordable neighborhood in Manhatten and is consequently gentrifying rapidly.
I have already seen many apartments for sale and rent and the prices are depressing, i.e. astronomical. I don’t know yet if I/we think we can live here. The most extreme is the constant attack on your senses: smells, visual, sounds and even touch, especially in the subway. But apartments are often build facing away from the streets, so this one and others, are 100% quiet, as if I wassomewhere else.
At the same time all the activity is delightful and interesting.
New York is all of what it is made out to be: exciting, ugly and beautiful, inspiring and confronting.
I saw Helen Mirren in a preview for her new film and going to Shakespeare in the park next week with Al Pacino in the Merchant of Venice.
60 Pianos are put all over Manhatten and anyone can play them. I caught some opera students from Julliard at Lincoln Center.
The first week I was here I got invited to a party and met the producer of “Lost”, the TV show, who is now organizing a party on my behalf, as in “welcome to New York “(any excuse will do)
4th of July is insane here. Nobody works for days, everyone has parties in-and outside, buzz buzz, wondering if anyone actually celebrates the birthday of this country…? At night there is the huge fireworks on the Hudson river to top it all of.
I fell in a crack in the sidewalk, which I find out everybody does once in a while. I really hurt myself in many places and I am forced to walk less and not try and sort it all out in one week or two.
Clients, or potential clients, are coming out of the woodwork. I found an office for a low fee, so that is very encouraging.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
March 24th - Back in Austin
March24th - Back in Austin
Arrived yesterday and spend the whole day doing laundry, working with the dogs- they have gotten very naughty – cleaning house pool and yard. It is leave -dropping time, they are everywhere!
How was it? I wish I could share a clear and precise answer, but I cannot. I loved the hustle bustle, although truth be told, it also got to be too much at times. Of course when you live there you do not spend as much time in the streets as I did. I saw millions of apartments, houses, neighborhoods and was awed by the expense of it all. If we sell this gigantic house we will be lucky to be able to buy a 2- bedroom apartment in Manhatten. Of course you can travel to suburbs (Brooklyn, Queens, Bronx and even out of city, for less money and more space, but is that ok?
There are two dilemma at this moment ;
1) can we get something in a neighborhood we like that we can feel comfortable in, including the dogs?
2) do we want to live the full city life or maybe suburbs within reach of the city?
I don’t know.
The next step is going back, finding another sublet and looking and feeling some more, 3 weeks was in the end not very long.
Sarah got officially accepted at her college, all the more reason to find a rental, so I can be there in the beginning stages. This is a big challenge for her and could not have been further from her life now, which is safe, white/asian, warm weather, quiet and predictable. Fill in the blanks!
She woke up in sweat this morning, fearful that this was all a big mistake…
I will sign off for now and will not write the blog until I hope June/July, which is when I am planning to go back to New York.
Meanwhile investigating the real estate market here and getting the house ready to sell.
Thank you all for reading, it has been helpful for me as well to formulate what was happening, I felt very honored you wanted to know .
Arrived yesterday and spend the whole day doing laundry, working with the dogs- they have gotten very naughty – cleaning house pool and yard. It is leave -dropping time, they are everywhere!
How was it? I wish I could share a clear and precise answer, but I cannot. I loved the hustle bustle, although truth be told, it also got to be too much at times. Of course when you live there you do not spend as much time in the streets as I did. I saw millions of apartments, houses, neighborhoods and was awed by the expense of it all. If we sell this gigantic house we will be lucky to be able to buy a 2- bedroom apartment in Manhatten. Of course you can travel to suburbs (Brooklyn, Queens, Bronx and even out of city, for less money and more space, but is that ok?
There are two dilemma at this moment ;
1) can we get something in a neighborhood we like that we can feel comfortable in, including the dogs?
2) do we want to live the full city life or maybe suburbs within reach of the city?
I don’t know.
The next step is going back, finding another sublet and looking and feeling some more, 3 weeks was in the end not very long.
Sarah got officially accepted at her college, all the more reason to find a rental, so I can be there in the beginning stages. This is a big challenge for her and could not have been further from her life now, which is safe, white/asian, warm weather, quiet and predictable. Fill in the blanks!
She woke up in sweat this morning, fearful that this was all a big mistake…
I will sign off for now and will not write the blog until I hope June/July, which is when I am planning to go back to New York.
Meanwhile investigating the real estate market here and getting the house ready to sell.
Thank you all for reading, it has been helpful for me as well to formulate what was happening, I felt very honored you wanted to know .
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
March 16th - overwhelm
March 16th – overwhelm
I have seen many places, towns, apartments and houses. The FEELING is I would like to live here. The realities are very daunting at the moment, how is this going to happen?
Day by day I try to discover more, see more, think more, feel more. Seeing old friends is delightful, that is, those who show up.
Being in New York feels like I never left, everything feels so normal and goes without saying, how odd is that after 12 years1
I have seen many places, towns, apartments and houses. The FEELING is I would like to live here. The realities are very daunting at the moment, how is this going to happen?
Day by day I try to discover more, see more, think more, feel more. Seeing old friends is delightful, that is, those who show up.
Being in New York feels like I never left, everything feels so normal and goes without saying, how odd is that after 12 years1
March 13th - Ralph Nader
March 13th – Ralph Nader
Are the dems still angry with him?
Well, I went to see and hear him. New York is definitely a horse of a different colr: people in the audience were calling out his name, yelled support, got up regulary and applauded, what a rowdy bunch, I loved it!
What is the point of Ralph Nader? I am not sure. He tells you were its at, but what bothers me is that he is only negative in his speeches as he blames the state of affairs .
Where are the solutions?
I don’t presume to know, and I am not politically oriented.
Day after day I decide, if at all possible, to choose the positive, not the negative. It is so easy to go with the negative and so tempting and all around us all the time…
Are the dems still angry with him?
Well, I went to see and hear him. New York is definitely a horse of a different colr: people in the audience were calling out his name, yelled support, got up regulary and applauded, what a rowdy bunch, I loved it!
What is the point of Ralph Nader? I am not sure. He tells you were its at, but what bothers me is that he is only negative in his speeches as he blames the state of affairs .
Where are the solutions?
I don’t presume to know, and I am not politically oriented.
Day after day I decide, if at all possible, to choose the positive, not the negative. It is so easy to go with the negative and so tempting and all around us all the time…
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
March 10th - Anything goes - in New York
March 10th – Anything goes- in New York
Tonight I was given a ticket for the musical “Memphis”, dazzling, uplifting and as always in an amazing theatre – they look like museums those theatres.
This afternoon I was having coffee with a friend and some guys told us: you either have to move or you will be in this movie”. Cameras all around, hustle and bustle, not what you call a quiet coffee, but fun nevertheless and so New York.
Everyone is making something, doing something, going places.
Yesterday a whole band stepped into the subway and began playing and got off the next stop. NPR is amazing, you can get all your information by just listening to the radio, political, educational, cultural,spritual, etc At the moment they are playing a piece “earth meets the sky” with tubas only.
Well, here is a sniff at all the action that takes place.
The good thing is you can be totally anonymous at what you wish to be or do and the bad thing is, you can be totally anonymous. And lonely.
I admire the energy and also makes me stagger sometimes. The prices of everything and anything, are staggering.
I am gathering information and don’t know yet if I can see myself living here
I am disappointed that that answer did not come loud and clear and quick and it makes me feel even more lost in this transition.
I attempt to stay in the here and now – I wandered into a gorgeous church today and accidently attended a mass –and not worry too much about where this is all going.
Oddly, the friends I thought would be knocking on my door are nowhere to be seen and others are very forthcoming, you just never know.
Thank god for cheap wine, ginger tea and a good shower. Speaking of which, the apartment is beginning to feel like home.
Tonight I was given a ticket for the musical “Memphis”, dazzling, uplifting and as always in an amazing theatre – they look like museums those theatres.
This afternoon I was having coffee with a friend and some guys told us: you either have to move or you will be in this movie”. Cameras all around, hustle and bustle, not what you call a quiet coffee, but fun nevertheless and so New York.
Everyone is making something, doing something, going places.
Yesterday a whole band stepped into the subway and began playing and got off the next stop. NPR is amazing, you can get all your information by just listening to the radio, political, educational, cultural,spritual, etc At the moment they are playing a piece “earth meets the sky” with tubas only.
Well, here is a sniff at all the action that takes place.
The good thing is you can be totally anonymous at what you wish to be or do and the bad thing is, you can be totally anonymous. And lonely.
I admire the energy and also makes me stagger sometimes. The prices of everything and anything, are staggering.
I am gathering information and don’t know yet if I can see myself living here
I am disappointed that that answer did not come loud and clear and quick and it makes me feel even more lost in this transition.
I attempt to stay in the here and now – I wandered into a gorgeous church today and accidently attended a mass –and not worry too much about where this is all going.
Oddly, the friends I thought would be knocking on my door are nowhere to be seen and others are very forthcoming, you just never know.
Thank god for cheap wine, ginger tea and a good shower. Speaking of which, the apartment is beginning to feel like home.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
March 6th - New York
March 6, 2010 New York, 3rd day
Yes, I am here and at the moment it already feels like a long time.
I rented an apartment on 54th and 9th ave, which upon arrival was a pig sty – what is it with me and messy, cluttered apartments? –I mean, indeed shocking. The first night I worked till 3 am, so I felt I could go to bed without breathing dust, cat hair or stepping in litter (no cat here now). The person who rented it to me dropped out of sight, turns out there is more to this rental than I was told, I will not bore you with the complications.
Now, I have a clean apartment, albeit above a construction site and only windows in the bedroom and again, no TV, very New York
I bought hyacints and good food, burned incense and candles and it feels more and more like home, I will go back to Austin on the 23rd and report on this scouting trip.
Yesterday I went around the tip of Manhatten with a broker, which is supposedly the only affordable area left. The pull for us is the view on The Hudson River, spectacular.
Tomorrow another round and working on other areas outside Manhatten.
Today was a noteworthy day. I went to Central Park since the weather is glorious, clear blue sky and in the 50ties. I forgot that about NY, more sunshine than in Holland, even though it gets equally cold, but therefore feels nicer.
Everywhere people, businesses, sounds, smells and activities. Saw rollerblading with ski poles in the middle of the road, drank coffee while walking like a New Yorker, saw Strawberry Fields – the John Lennon memorial – for the 100th time, jumped on and off buses and trains – public transportation is fantastically fast – horse carriages, people on horseback, funky clothing, in short, New York
Tonight I had dinner with my 2nd cousin (achterneef) in the West Village. It was my old stomping ground and it felt like home, although the noise level and congestion is harder for me now that before.
Tomorrow I once again see houses in the north, where it is also much quieter
It may be a better compromise for us, further travel, but more small town like.
PS: a new page on the website, link “about me”
Yes, I am here and at the moment it already feels like a long time.
I rented an apartment on 54th and 9th ave, which upon arrival was a pig sty – what is it with me and messy, cluttered apartments? –I mean, indeed shocking. The first night I worked till 3 am, so I felt I could go to bed without breathing dust, cat hair or stepping in litter (no cat here now). The person who rented it to me dropped out of sight, turns out there is more to this rental than I was told, I will not bore you with the complications.
Now, I have a clean apartment, albeit above a construction site and only windows in the bedroom and again, no TV, very New York
I bought hyacints and good food, burned incense and candles and it feels more and more like home, I will go back to Austin on the 23rd and report on this scouting trip.
Yesterday I went around the tip of Manhatten with a broker, which is supposedly the only affordable area left. The pull for us is the view on The Hudson River, spectacular.
Tomorrow another round and working on other areas outside Manhatten.
Today was a noteworthy day. I went to Central Park since the weather is glorious, clear blue sky and in the 50ties. I forgot that about NY, more sunshine than in Holland, even though it gets equally cold, but therefore feels nicer.
Everywhere people, businesses, sounds, smells and activities. Saw rollerblading with ski poles in the middle of the road, drank coffee while walking like a New Yorker, saw Strawberry Fields – the John Lennon memorial – for the 100th time, jumped on and off buses and trains – public transportation is fantastically fast – horse carriages, people on horseback, funky clothing, in short, New York
Tonight I had dinner with my 2nd cousin (achterneef) in the West Village. It was my old stomping ground and it felt like home, although the noise level and congestion is harder for me now that before.
Tomorrow I once again see houses in the north, where it is also much quieter
It may be a better compromise for us, further travel, but more small town like.
PS: a new page on the website, link “about me”
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
February 16th - Back in Austin, moving to New York!
February 16th
There, it is out !
Eight days ago I landed. Funny how you cannot know what you would feel or will feel. I felt very little. I think I had expected to be excited “coming home”, this was not the case. Everything looked ordinary, uneventful, the same.
Of course it was very nice to see David, Benjamin and the dogs, but even the house felt, how shall I say, empty. I feel disoriented, disconnected and exhausted
Now 8 days later, the house mostly feels like a huge chore that never finishes. The few plants that survived are back,the fridge is full again, but the yard still needs a lot of work, everything froze dead (unheard of in Austin) and I feel little enthousiasm to contact anyone. I am wading my way through paperwork, bills, notification etc
Today I met the neighbors in the street, while walking the dogs. The feigned kindness feels like a cold shower.
The good news is that the weather is gorgous, I swallow up the sun when I can
We have decided whilst B. is still going to school for a year and we do not know when the move north east will take place, we are keeping the house for a while. In the meantime I have emptied our guestroom – funny how you think a room is empty and lots and lots of things come out! – in order to rent it. Hopefully I will find someone who needs an office space in a quiet location.
I intend to visit New York in the March, to see and feel and hear. After that ,we take another step, daunting as ever
My web site was compromised (thank you google), which I discovered a week ago, I had not looked at it for a while. This past weekend David and I worked very hard and it is now up and running again, better I think, more informative, some humor.
Please if you have a chance, give it a look www.soul-works.com (or .net, I own both)
There, it is out !
Eight days ago I landed. Funny how you cannot know what you would feel or will feel. I felt very little. I think I had expected to be excited “coming home”, this was not the case. Everything looked ordinary, uneventful, the same.
Of course it was very nice to see David, Benjamin and the dogs, but even the house felt, how shall I say, empty. I feel disoriented, disconnected and exhausted
Now 8 days later, the house mostly feels like a huge chore that never finishes. The few plants that survived are back,the fridge is full again, but the yard still needs a lot of work, everything froze dead (unheard of in Austin) and I feel little enthousiasm to contact anyone. I am wading my way through paperwork, bills, notification etc
Today I met the neighbors in the street, while walking the dogs. The feigned kindness feels like a cold shower.
The good news is that the weather is gorgous, I swallow up the sun when I can
We have decided whilst B. is still going to school for a year and we do not know when the move north east will take place, we are keeping the house for a while. In the meantime I have emptied our guestroom – funny how you think a room is empty and lots and lots of things come out! – in order to rent it. Hopefully I will find someone who needs an office space in a quiet location.
I intend to visit New York in the March, to see and feel and hear. After that ,we take another step, daunting as ever
My web site was compromised (thank you google), which I discovered a week ago, I had not looked at it for a while. This past weekend David and I worked very hard and it is now up and running again, better I think, more informative, some humor.
Please if you have a chance, give it a look www.soul-works.com (or .net, I own both)
Saturday, January 30, 2010
January 31st - Madrid, no thanks
January 31st – Madrid, no thanks
Never thought I would say that, but there it is. Why?
Mostly if not only, the people. It starts with no one speaking English and proud of it ! There is no attempt to help you, direct you or treat you as a welcome guest. The people that stumble in English, are so hard to understand , that it makes it almost more complicated. It puzzles me, I also learned English as a second language and wanted to be understood.
They often won’t serve you in restaurants. No, correction, they serve everybody around you who is Spanish and then they may serve you. We have walked out twice, because it just took too long – we are talking 45 minutes to an hour here…- and then they yell at you.
A conductor raised his voice at us, because we descended from the wrong steps.
When asking where the bathrooms were in the Royal Place we were visiting, the guards just shrug their shoulders. And on and on.
But, Madrid is beautiful, breathtakingly so. On every corner is yet another beautiful building, piazza, sculpture, fountain, or artwork of a kind.
We are smack in the center and in the midst of the street performers. They take great pleasure in the weird stuff: the guy without a head, the 3 headed “table”, the woman in freeze position entirely covered in mud, Winnie the Pooh (not weird but huge),the frozen “Guardian” in gold and many many Micky’s and Minnies, all wearing the Ameican flag . For starters.
The Royal Palace. I don’t think I have ever seen so much wealth in one place. I assume the Vatican is that way and Versailles. Gold, tapestry, chrystal, beauty in its own right.
Apparently the king and queen of Spain are still using it for official functions, although the building dates back from the 1500 hundreds.
Parks. Inside it more palaces and buildings, some stemming from the Moors, some Christianity and /or the Crusades. Beautiful lakes, old trees that make you believe you are in a movie, but wearing the wrong clothes.
The weather is gorgous. Blue skies everyday, but chilly, as in low 40ties. We are still wearing layers of clothing, boots, 2 pair of socks, hats, gloves, scarfs, the works. But everything looks glistening and radiating, I forgot what the sun was all about!
I can’t speak to the food, I have the runs……
Never thought I would say that, but there it is. Why?
Mostly if not only, the people. It starts with no one speaking English and proud of it ! There is no attempt to help you, direct you or treat you as a welcome guest. The people that stumble in English, are so hard to understand , that it makes it almost more complicated. It puzzles me, I also learned English as a second language and wanted to be understood.
They often won’t serve you in restaurants. No, correction, they serve everybody around you who is Spanish and then they may serve you. We have walked out twice, because it just took too long – we are talking 45 minutes to an hour here…- and then they yell at you.
A conductor raised his voice at us, because we descended from the wrong steps.
When asking where the bathrooms were in the Royal Place we were visiting, the guards just shrug their shoulders. And on and on.
But, Madrid is beautiful, breathtakingly so. On every corner is yet another beautiful building, piazza, sculpture, fountain, or artwork of a kind.
We are smack in the center and in the midst of the street performers. They take great pleasure in the weird stuff: the guy without a head, the 3 headed “table”, the woman in freeze position entirely covered in mud, Winnie the Pooh (not weird but huge),the frozen “Guardian” in gold and many many Micky’s and Minnies, all wearing the Ameican flag . For starters.
The Royal Palace. I don’t think I have ever seen so much wealth in one place. I assume the Vatican is that way and Versailles. Gold, tapestry, chrystal, beauty in its own right.
Apparently the king and queen of Spain are still using it for official functions, although the building dates back from the 1500 hundreds.
Parks. Inside it more palaces and buildings, some stemming from the Moors, some Christianity and /or the Crusades. Beautiful lakes, old trees that make you believe you are in a movie, but wearing the wrong clothes.
The weather is gorgous. Blue skies everyday, but chilly, as in low 40ties. We are still wearing layers of clothing, boots, 2 pair of socks, hats, gloves, scarfs, the works. But everything looks glistening and radiating, I forgot what the sun was all about!
I can’t speak to the food, I have the runs……
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
January 26th - Travel to Madrid
January 26th - Travel to Madrid
This morning at 7 am it was -9 C, we had no idea it had gotten so cold and it hit us like a ton of bricks as we worked our way to the train station.
Miissed our train by seconds - tried to open the doors,but no, but still made it in time to the airport.
Upon checking in it finally became clear what Easy Jet meant by "hand luggage" and take one piece on the plane.
All sorted out, walked ourselves to the waiting area, where we found out that we were dalayed by one hour. In fact, all Easy Jet trips were in a holding pattern, due to snow in the south of Europe!
We were the first to take off, got here fine and then had a two hour adventure to get from the airport to downtown Madrid...!
The hotel is a jewel, the weather bright and sunny but low 40ties, sorted out internet, pillows, maps and buses and set out.
We are drowning in Meditarrenean architecture which is in a word, breathtaking. The little beauty we saw so far is stunning, adorable and cosy. Think large squares, small streets, cafes cafes cafes, sculpted buildings, fountains, street music
We ate at 4pm, tappas and paella, but life does not pick up again till 8pm-ish, dinnertime,, even in the winter
We will venture out again............
This morning at 7 am it was -9 C, we had no idea it had gotten so cold and it hit us like a ton of bricks as we worked our way to the train station.
Miissed our train by seconds - tried to open the doors,but no, but still made it in time to the airport.
Upon checking in it finally became clear what Easy Jet meant by "hand luggage" and take one piece on the plane.
All sorted out, walked ourselves to the waiting area, where we found out that we were dalayed by one hour. In fact, all Easy Jet trips were in a holding pattern, due to snow in the south of Europe!
We were the first to take off, got here fine and then had a two hour adventure to get from the airport to downtown Madrid...!
The hotel is a jewel, the weather bright and sunny but low 40ties, sorted out internet, pillows, maps and buses and set out.
We are drowning in Meditarrenean architecture which is in a word, breathtaking. The little beauty we saw so far is stunning, adorable and cosy. Think large squares, small streets, cafes cafes cafes, sculpted buildings, fountains, street music
We ate at 4pm, tappas and paella, but life does not pick up again till 8pm-ish, dinnertime,, even in the winter
We will venture out again............
Monday, January 25, 2010
January 24th - Amsterdam
Amsterdam
When I woke up today, a world of snow
My heart fell with a thump, in love
And landed in this city, my home
And finally felt the grieve of going
I could not, would not face before,
always forward, never back.
But now the waters flow from me
And it, the beauty , sensibility
The thumping of a pulse, aligned
With mine and one more time
The snow came down and spread it thick
To soften sound and smell and ache
from love, this city, my home.
When I woke up today, a world of snow
My heart fell with a thump, in love
And landed in this city, my home
And finally felt the grieve of going
I could not, would not face before,
always forward, never back.
But now the waters flow from me
And it, the beauty , sensibility
The thumping of a pulse, aligned
With mine and one more time
The snow came down and spread it thick
To soften sound and smell and ache
from love, this city, my home.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
January 20th - Decided
January20th – Decided
To come back to the US.
While I was in Antwerp, without friends, family, animals or work , I had a lot of time to think and to feel. I missed them terribly and it became very clear to me that without the above, my life is not the life I want. I especially missed my immediate family (that includes the dogs!)
As motherhood progressed, I always thought – or was taught? – that when your children leave high school they are “done” with their parents. Little did I know and even though the relationship changes, it is not over, if ever.
I am not done and nor are they. So to put an ocean between my immediate family and myself is just not the right thing for me. I have not asked the opinion of my family, this is my decision. At the same time I think they are happy about it, taking into consideration remarks and comments I heard when we were together during Christmas.
What compromise is left for me is that I will not live on the same continent as my biological family ( in particular my brothers ) and some very dear old friends. I don’t know that I will ever be able to make a skintight move, it is just what I have created, this bi-continental conflict, maybe one day I will really find out why and can feel it as a blessing!
Meanwhile I like Amsterdam, it is great seeing some people and having enough time to seeing them twice and at length!
This is a beautiful city all around and I will miss it greatly.The canals with ice or with water or snow are magical, the architecture stunning, and geez, the people have become nicer it seems!Certainly their attitude about service has changed and most actually say now "have a nice day". First time I heard it I did a double take! Transportation with trams is a treat, you zip form here to there in no time, no car!!!
The weather has normalized: it is grey a lot, sun comes out now and then and it hoovers around upper 30ties and 40ties.
Tuesday 26 Sarah and I are going to Spain for a week – Madrid, Granada – to meet up with my niece and nephew who live there, watch the blog “Spain”
To come back to the US.
While I was in Antwerp, without friends, family, animals or work , I had a lot of time to think and to feel. I missed them terribly and it became very clear to me that without the above, my life is not the life I want. I especially missed my immediate family (that includes the dogs!)
As motherhood progressed, I always thought – or was taught? – that when your children leave high school they are “done” with their parents. Little did I know and even though the relationship changes, it is not over, if ever.
I am not done and nor are they. So to put an ocean between my immediate family and myself is just not the right thing for me. I have not asked the opinion of my family, this is my decision. At the same time I think they are happy about it, taking into consideration remarks and comments I heard when we were together during Christmas.
What compromise is left for me is that I will not live on the same continent as my biological family ( in particular my brothers ) and some very dear old friends. I don’t know that I will ever be able to make a skintight move, it is just what I have created, this bi-continental conflict, maybe one day I will really find out why and can feel it as a blessing!
Meanwhile I like Amsterdam, it is great seeing some people and having enough time to seeing them twice and at length!
This is a beautiful city all around and I will miss it greatly.The canals with ice or with water or snow are magical, the architecture stunning, and geez, the people have become nicer it seems!Certainly their attitude about service has changed and most actually say now "have a nice day". First time I heard it I did a double take! Transportation with trams is a treat, you zip form here to there in no time, no car!!!
The weather has normalized: it is grey a lot, sun comes out now and then and it hoovers around upper 30ties and 40ties.
Tuesday 26 Sarah and I are going to Spain for a week – Madrid, Granada – to meet up with my niece and nephew who live there, watch the blog “Spain”
Saturday, January 9, 2010
January 9th - Amsterdam!!
January 9th Amsterdam!
Usually, I do not edit my writings, but I did notice in the last blog, I really misspelled a lot, it must have been late, I am sorry.
Today is my brother’s 70th birthday: we had a fun party tonight and many family members were there, even the ones that now live in Spain, as well as many old friends from different parts of the country. It felt special to be there and yet, very normal at the same time. Of course I was there. It was exciting to “show off” my kids.
Coming here from Antwerp was a challenge. I think Antwerp had a gravitational pull on us, it took us a full hour to find our way out.
We traveled some into the south of Holland called Zeeland, known for its unspoiled beaches. Strange to be traveling through snow, some of it beautiful and sunny (!)
I did not know what I was looking for, but when we found it, I knew. A restaurant on the beach, unspoiled, quiet, ships going by and sun on the water, although freezing cold.
Magical and inspirational. The best coffee ever.
We decided to start for Amsterdam, it was 2pm and trying to get there before the worst rush hour.
At 4pm we had reached the airport (Schiphol) and within a few minutes it got dark. I even commented on it how early it was getting dark here.
Within minutes, no knowledge of the consequences, we drove into the “perfect storm”, snow coming from different directions at once and we, us, little people, were in the center of it. I don’t recall ever having seen such thick snowflakes and being in a wall of snow.
It conjured up respect for nature and later, being held hostage by the weather, helped us practice letting go of the idea that you are in control.
Traffic now came to a full stop almost immediately. We were 20 minutes away from Amsterdam. We were stuck for four (4) hours, whilst moving a foot or so, every minute.
We did not have a lot of gas and all had to pee. Did you ever wonder why you want to pee more and more, even when you don’t drink anything?
Never mind……what you ponder when you are stuck in traffic.
The gridlock was the longest on record, 140 kilometers (over 100 miles) and the salt/sand sprayers are out of salt for the season, yippie
I always wondered what causes a gridlock to resolve eventually, but this one took till midnight.
Meanwhile , we have all arrived in Amsterdam, unpacked, shopped, I made peasoup, we feel at home, loving it and have lots of stories to tell. The apartment is great.
It is so amazing how two countries so close together, can be so different, cultural shock all over again, but easier this time, mostly, because I know so many people here.
But navigating trams, buses and trains is a new one and somewhat exhausting. Where to buy the best bread, a paperclip or print something? And so on.
As for the immediate future, not clear and for now just experiencing the city of Amsterdam, new and old.
It is going to snow again tomorrow........
Usually, I do not edit my writings, but I did notice in the last blog, I really misspelled a lot, it must have been late, I am sorry.
Today is my brother’s 70th birthday: we had a fun party tonight and many family members were there, even the ones that now live in Spain, as well as many old friends from different parts of the country. It felt special to be there and yet, very normal at the same time. Of course I was there. It was exciting to “show off” my kids.
Coming here from Antwerp was a challenge. I think Antwerp had a gravitational pull on us, it took us a full hour to find our way out.
We traveled some into the south of Holland called Zeeland, known for its unspoiled beaches. Strange to be traveling through snow, some of it beautiful and sunny (!)
I did not know what I was looking for, but when we found it, I knew. A restaurant on the beach, unspoiled, quiet, ships going by and sun on the water, although freezing cold.
Magical and inspirational. The best coffee ever.
We decided to start for Amsterdam, it was 2pm and trying to get there before the worst rush hour.
At 4pm we had reached the airport (Schiphol) and within a few minutes it got dark. I even commented on it how early it was getting dark here.
Within minutes, no knowledge of the consequences, we drove into the “perfect storm”, snow coming from different directions at once and we, us, little people, were in the center of it. I don’t recall ever having seen such thick snowflakes and being in a wall of snow.
It conjured up respect for nature and later, being held hostage by the weather, helped us practice letting go of the idea that you are in control.
Traffic now came to a full stop almost immediately. We were 20 minutes away from Amsterdam. We were stuck for four (4) hours, whilst moving a foot or so, every minute.
We did not have a lot of gas and all had to pee. Did you ever wonder why you want to pee more and more, even when you don’t drink anything?
Never mind……what you ponder when you are stuck in traffic.
The gridlock was the longest on record, 140 kilometers (over 100 miles) and the salt/sand sprayers are out of salt for the season, yippie
I always wondered what causes a gridlock to resolve eventually, but this one took till midnight.
Meanwhile , we have all arrived in Amsterdam, unpacked, shopped, I made peasoup, we feel at home, loving it and have lots of stories to tell. The apartment is great.
It is so amazing how two countries so close together, can be so different, cultural shock all over again, but easier this time, mostly, because I know so many people here.
But navigating trams, buses and trains is a new one and somewhat exhausting. Where to buy the best bread, a paperclip or print something? And so on.
As for the immediate future, not clear and for now just experiencing the city of Amsterdam, new and old.
It is going to snow again tomorrow........
Saturday, January 2, 2010
December 31st - New Years Eve
December 31st – the Homestretch ( not posted yet)
And now, the end of the year is here
Three of the four kids are off travelling somewhere
My brother and his wife stayed with us for an overnighter and celebrate the New Year here with us in Antwerp, what a trip!
We went into town after lunch and much to our surprise, the centre was empty, as if a bomb had gone off
As the afternoon progressed and we were walking about drinking warm wine and enjoying coffees in the most beautiful places, people traffic picked up some .
Home for dinner, afterwards we each picked an angel card and talked about what that meant to us.
11pm rolled around and since we had heard that Antwerp put on a serious firework display, we set out. The metro was jampacked. Literally, body to body, depending on someone to move, so you could move
Giggly we looked at each other as in ” what have we done?!!” and then suddenly the train stopped and we all had to get out due to a fire on the rail…..divine intervention as it turned out.
As we surfaced from under ground, the streets were packed with people moving all towards the fireworks, but doable and space to breath. Fortunately the weather stayed just a tat above freezing, we were well dressed, no problem there
We ended up finding a very good spot near the river and the fireworks were terrific. I saw displays I had never seen before, we all agreed it was well worth it.
We decided to walk back to the apartment, together with a few thousand others
More warm wine, more champagne, to bed at 3am
Next day went to a festival in a tent, listened to gypsy music, drank coffee and more champagne and had pancakes and soup
All around different and fun, whilst talking to Belgians in their best mood, which does not happen a lot.
Now that all visitors have left, silence is upon us (David, Saar and me)
Have begun to clean up beds, blankets, sheets, collect boxes, re-organizing the apartment for the move ot Amsterdam on Wednesday the 6th.
Monday the cat will be picked up, I am so sad, I have become very attached to her.
Cold……
One resolution: kick back on sugar once again, a must do!
And now, the end of the year is here
Three of the four kids are off travelling somewhere
My brother and his wife stayed with us for an overnighter and celebrate the New Year here with us in Antwerp, what a trip!
We went into town after lunch and much to our surprise, the centre was empty, as if a bomb had gone off
As the afternoon progressed and we were walking about drinking warm wine and enjoying coffees in the most beautiful places, people traffic picked up some .
Home for dinner, afterwards we each picked an angel card and talked about what that meant to us.
11pm rolled around and since we had heard that Antwerp put on a serious firework display, we set out. The metro was jampacked. Literally, body to body, depending on someone to move, so you could move
Giggly we looked at each other as in ” what have we done?!!” and then suddenly the train stopped and we all had to get out due to a fire on the rail…..divine intervention as it turned out.
As we surfaced from under ground, the streets were packed with people moving all towards the fireworks, but doable and space to breath. Fortunately the weather stayed just a tat above freezing, we were well dressed, no problem there
We ended up finding a very good spot near the river and the fireworks were terrific. I saw displays I had never seen before, we all agreed it was well worth it.
We decided to walk back to the apartment, together with a few thousand others
More warm wine, more champagne, to bed at 3am
Next day went to a festival in a tent, listened to gypsy music, drank coffee and more champagne and had pancakes and soup
All around different and fun, whilst talking to Belgians in their best mood, which does not happen a lot.
Now that all visitors have left, silence is upon us (David, Saar and me)
Have begun to clean up beds, blankets, sheets, collect boxes, re-organizing the apartment for the move ot Amsterdam on Wednesday the 6th.
Monday the cat will be picked up, I am so sad, I have become very attached to her.
Cold……
One resolution: kick back on sugar once again, a must do!
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